I Miss American Life, An American Pie Song Parody for the COVID-19 Coronavirus
--by Melanie Wilson
(with apologies to Don McLean)
Well, this took off. So far, this YouTube video has had over 43,000 views. It was written in the early days of the virus, before the numbers got really scary. Back in March and April everyone had a great sense of kinship and community. I tried to capture that in the lyrics.
Performed by Zach Kessel, Northwestern University freshman Editing by Matt Wilson.
I hope a little humor might help to lighten our load...at least for eight minutes and 22 seconds. It’s long, but I wanted to stay true to the original version. Enjoy!
A long, long time ago,
I can still remember going outside used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance,
that I could learn to wash my hands
and maybe they’d be germ free for a while.
But February hit on Wuhan
Worse than just a crazy flu can.
Bad news on the doorstep
Please do not take one more step.
I can’t remember if I cried
When they cancelled every Disney ride
Please don’t touch me, stay inside
These days we all must hide
So bye, bye Miss American Life
No more school and no more Broadway and it’s making me cry
And them pretty brides aren’t drinking champagne so dry
Everybody must stay inside.
Everybody must stay inside.
Did you buy tickets for a show
Because now you can not go
And they won’t hold it anyway
Now do you want to see rock ‘n roll?
Can music save your mortal soul?
And can you hear the radio instead?
Well I know you feel bad for Tom Hanks
One of the best in LA ranks
Prince Charles is not immune
Let’s hope they get well soon.
And for each lonely teenage girl and boy
Who must stay home with little joy
Your parents can not provide your toys
These days we all must hide
We were singing bye, bye Miss American Life
No more school and no more Broadway and it’s making me cry
And them pretty brides aren’t drinking champagne so dry
Everybody must stay inside.
Everybody must stay inside.
How much toilet paper do you own?
To buy more, please take out a loan
But that’s not how it used to be
When the shopper found shelves not so lean
And Lysol was more easily seen
Purell was there for you and me
Oh, and while we all were out in town
The virus sadly made it rounds
The courtrooms were adjourned
No verdicts were returned
And while Congress helped to make a mark
The towns and Cities closed their parks
And we watched Netflix in the dark
These days we stay inside.
We were singing
Bye, bye Miss American Life
No more school and no more Broadway and it’s making me cry
And them pretty brides aren’t drinking champagne so dry
Because everyone must not go outside. Everyone must stay inside.
Helter skelter bring the summer swelter
Does Corona die or just take shelter
Hundreds of thousands and growing fast
Will it land foul upon the grass
How many weeks til this is past
With the virus on the sidelines in a cast
Now the country’s air lacks sweet perfume
Stock markets crash and then resume
We all just lost our cash
Oh, the markets fell too fast
And the NBA won’t play their ball
We won’t see players til next fall
Do you recall goin’ to the mall
Before we stayed inside
We started singing
Bye, bye Miss American Life
No more school and no more Broadway and it’s making me cry
And them pretty brides aren’t drinking champagne so dry
Everybody must stay inside.
Everybody must stay inside.
Here we are not in one place
All generations slowing down their pace
With lots of time to clean the den
So come on, back to family, back real quick
I hope your loved ones won’t get sick
Because contact is Corona’s only friend.
Oh, and as I read the newspaper page
My hands were clenched in fists of rage
Could vaccines keep us well?
Could it break this virus hell?
And as the cases climb high it gives us fright
Will all our parents be alright?
We’ve just begun to fight the fight
We all must stay inside.
We were singing
Bye, bye Miss American Life
No more school and no more Broadway and it’s making me cry
And them pretty brides aren’t drinking champagne so dry
Everybody must stay inside.
Everybody must stay inside.
I met a girl who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news
But she just smiled and turned away
I went down to the grocery store
Hand sanitizer, wipes, and more
The cashier there said the shelves weren’t stocked today
And in the streets, no children screamed
No lovers cried no poets dreamed
But lots of words were spoken
On social media they were hoping
And the seniors we admire most
The ones who will not read this post
Protect them all from coast to coast
These days we all must hide.
Bye, bye Miss American Life
No more school and no more Broadway and it’s making me cry
And them pretty brides aren’t drinking champagne so dry
Everybody must stay inside.
Everybody must stay inside.